Sunday, 6 January 2008

Why I am in a state of constant Wasi wasi

I have decided to start this blog, because since December 30th 2007, my life and the life of most Kenyans took a massive turn. I have been inundated with calls and emails from friends , relatives outside Kenya, and colleagues, to check on the situation in Kenya. I find that I am giving daily updates to everyone, relaying the same information daily, and it will be easier to use the blog as an information source.

As things began to unfold, I spent hours surfing the world wide web looking for information. I am so grateful to all the Kenyan bloggers(some of whom are on my sidebar) out there, who are posting. It has been invaluable to me, to read what is happening from people on the ground. I was saddened to read yesterday that some Kenyan bloggers feel that they have to restrict what they say, as they have been told it would be considered incitement. I understand the strong feelings on some of the blogs, as people are angry, and hurt, and unable to debate in a respectful manner.

I tend to stay out of politics , as I am disillusioned by what goes on. However, I was waiting patiently for the results of the election, as I wanted a change for Kenya. I was so moved by the reports that I received of the numbers of people who had gone out in droves to vote. The Kenyan people were making a statement

I have to confess I am a pessimist, and didn't believe that Raila Odinga, the leader of the opposition Orange Democratic party would ever become President. I didn't believe the process would be democratic, and I was proved right. I kept on ringing my folks to check whether the results were out, and could not understand the delay. Something was cooking, and I felt very uncomfortable.

The results were announced, and Emilio Stanley Mwai Kibaki was declared the winner by Samuel Kiviutu the electoral commission chairman.

I knew the results would not be taken lightly by some of the Kenyan population. I was right. Things started to kick off because the election was stolen.

We have Samuel Kiviuitu admitting that he was under pressure to announce the results.He claims that he wanted to resign before the announcement, but did not want to be called a coward. When he was asked whether Emilio Stanley Kibaki won the election, he claimed he did not know. It is his responsibility to know, and yet he announced the results without knowing, which had a disastrous effect.

The question that keeps on arising for me, is who can the Kenyan people trust?

They were not listened to, were cheated, and ignored. That has had a knock on effect. It was inevitable. Numerous innocent lives have been lost as a result.

Things just spiralled with killings, looting, and mayhem, all over the country these photos(by Joseph Karoki) here and here tell the story.

My heart goes out to all the innocent people who lost their lives. It is unforgiveable.

I sit and think about what sparked this all off, and did not expect this type of carnage to happen in any way. Kenya moved back in time, in a space of a few days. People were unable to leave their houses, as it was unsafe. Some people had their houses broken into or burned down, by angry gangs. There are huge numbers of Kenyans now who are homeless, and displaced as a result of the violence. Kenyans have not worked for a number of days, some Kenyans have not eaten for a number of days, it goes on and on, and on.

I read Silaha's post on what history says, and it sent chills up my spine.

An interesting piece by Binyavanga Wainaina, on the threat of speaking in his mother tongue, while he is in Lamu.

I read Mad Kenyan woman's post and she raises a very important point, what the hell do we say to the children about what has happened. My goddaughter is nine years old, and is glued to the TV whenever she hears the word Kenya. I had hoped to take her home next year, for her first time. Her mother has had the task of explaining what democracy means to her, and also explaining why Kenya is in the state it is in now. They are Afro Carribean, but born in the UK, and the whole thing is mind boggling to them.

There are several ways that you can help by signing this petition, contacting the Red Cross. There are a lot of people out there who want peace and reconciliation.

I have picked up today that there are talks to form a unity government, and pressure grows on Kibaki to hold talks, as divisions within his own community emerge.

My life has changed, as I am calling Kenya several times a day, in a constant state of Wasiwasi, not knowing what will happen next. Every single Kenyan is affected by this, and those who are celebrating, will realise one day, that nobody has won anything.

The healing will take time, as deep rooted tensions have been awakened. The Kenyan people are moving through different phases of grieving, anger, shock, denial and bargaining.

I hope and pray that Kenya can move forward.

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